When my wife Tamara first approached me about moving to her native Chile, I have to admit, I thought she was crazy. It is a gorgeous place that I love visiting with her, and we always have a wonderful time, but moving there? It seemed like such a bizarre suggestion that I made her repeat it. All I could think of was the million reasons why it was a bad idea. I was making headway at the large practice where I was working, she loved her job, and we had bought our house only the year before. I thought that our lives were headed in the right direction and honestly I was pretty content. The week before, she had been talking about starting a family. My second thought was that if I just waited her out, she might drop the whole thing, and I wouldn’t have to say no.
Then she told me that her father was ill, showing signs of dementia, and she was concerned that her mother wouldn’t be able to take care of him properly. As the only child, this duty then fell to Tamara, and she rightly assessed that this was a hands-on situation. She could go there and I could stay here, or I could relocate with her and we could give it a try. It was likely going to be a long battle and she really didn’t want to have to do it alone.
I thought about it, and I realized I wouldn’t want to do it alone, either. Nor did I want her to. So we gave notice at our jobs. The head surgeon at my clinic started to give me a hard time but was very sad to hear about my father-in-law. His own father has Alzheimer’s, and agreed that we were doing the right thing by supporting Tamara’s family. He warned me that it might be a long and ugly fight, and that at some point, we would probably need to hire a home nurse or something, that it would be a hard decision for us but to remember
Once that was done, we started packing up the house. I couldn’t believe how much we had after only a year there. At first we were going to rent it out and hire a property management company to deal with everything but a prospective tenant offered to buy it instead, for more than we paid. He even wanted the furniture. It was such a weight off our shoulders, and not something we believed was a possibility. It was yet another affirmation that what we were doing was the right thing.
Our belongings are packed, our papers are in order, and in just a few days, we’ll be moving in with Tamara’s parents….
Wish me luck. I’m going to need it.